After spending the weekend with two little girls I had a cliche but fascinating realization...the realization of childhood innocence. We had been playing a game of "Would you rather." Here I was, expecting them to ask silly questions like, "Would you rather eat brains or smell dog poop?" But instead, they began asking quite scary questions like "Would you rather die by falling off a cliff or being nailed to a pole?" Now you may be saying, "That's anything but innocent!" But isn't it? I could see in their faces they weren't bothered by these statements. In fact they almost found them funny. And I could tell that the reason was because they don't associate death with reality. To them, death is something of fantasy, something to be joked about, something so far from themselves. And as I layed in their pink room that night, that smelled of baby powder and had butterflies covering the walls, I thought of all they don't know. Death, suicide, self-injury, rape, depression, loss, terrorism, poverty, despair, slavery, guilt, prostitution, complete and utter loneliness and desperation...and it saddened me that they'd later have to deal with the reality of it all. I hope they never have to encounter any of the horrors of this world personally...they don't deserve that. But, then again, no one really does.
I tried to remember when I lost this innocence, and I can't really think of a day or a time..."Maybe when..." I thought, but then I realized that truly, with life-experience comes a loss of innocence and it's a reality we all unfortunately have to face, some sooner rather than later. I don't know which way is easier.
But I try to reclaim a little of my lost innocence when I can, through childhood books and stories, movies and fantasies, pictures and memories. And I know, deep down, I'll always be a child lost in that bubblegum world. I'll deal with reality as it comes.
picture is from...
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://i207.photobucket.com/albums/bb125/Cheeriotown/innocence.jpg&imgrefurl=http://face-photography.blogspot.com/2008/01/photograph-innocence.html&usg=___1g9727NcVbsmEVHkRu9bqXY-Cs=&h=700&w=467&sz=70&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=MM9VFyBEcbo1JM:&tbnh=118&tbnw=92&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dinnocence%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26rlz%3D1T4ADRA_enUS333US333%26biw%3D1419%26bih%3D604%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=468&ei=wU4FTcS2KcT68AbQ-eTvDg&oei=wU4FTcS2KcT68AbQ-eTvDg&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=30&ved=1t:429,r:2,s:0&tx=80&ty=79
